Parent & Our Responsibilities Towards Them

The Qur’an that I know
October 31, 2016
Education City Mosque
January 19, 2017

 

رضى الرب في رضى الوالد , وسخط الرب في سخط الوالد

“The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of one’s parents and the anger of the Lord is in the anger of one’s parents”

 

These are the golden words of Prophet Muhammad, May Allah’s peace be upon him, which means:

My dear brothers and sisters, the status of parents can never be over emphasized. Time and again Allah has reminded us of amount of pain & hardships they have undergone to raise us up.

حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ

His mother carried him, in weakness upon weakness, pain upon pain. (Surah Luqman 31:14)

 

We all know the famous hadith in which a man came all the way from Yemen to Makkah, carrying his mother on his back and when he asked Ibn Umar (radi Allahu anhu) if he had paid her back. Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar replied, “No, not even for one contraction!!” (Source: Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhari, 1/62)

Indeed, we can never pay them back, and how can we, when we know they worked during the day so that we could live comfortable lives and they kept awake at night so we could sleep. They sacrificed their dreams because we had become their dreams.

 

Due to this Allah (swt) has enjoined upon us certain responsibilities which are binding upon us. They are divided into five main categories.

 

Firstly: It is our duty to Honor and Respect them

Allah, azza wa jall, has mentioned about parents in over 15 verses of the Noble Qur’an. Indeed, their Maqam or the status is very high. So much so that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,

Jannah is below the feet of your mother.

And he (peace be upon him) said:

Father is the greatest door to paradise.

 

 Secondly: Loving them & treating them with Kindness

As Elizabeth Stone says: “To have a child is to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

Indeed they have shown immense love and affection towards us and it is our duty to reflect the same. Infact Allah mentioned good treatment to our parents immediately after commanding us to worship Him alone.

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment.

In the same verse Allah says:

وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا

And speak to them a noble word.

 

Thirdly: We must obey them, help & serve them

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ

And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy

Be subservient to them. Remember the time when they toiled to fulfill each and every need of ours. In serving them, never show disrespect or disgust.

فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ

say not to them, “uff,”

Scholars say, if there was a word which was less that ‘uff’ Allah would have used it the Noble Qur’an.

 

Fourthly: They are deserving of our companionship,

The Qur’an commands us:

وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا

And do not repel them

We all know the hadith in which a man came to the Messenger of Allah (saw), wanting to be a companion of the Final Prophet, but had left his parents longing for him.  Prophet (saw) was upset with him and said:

ارجعْ إليهما فأضحكْهما كما أبكيتَهما

“Go back to them and make them laugh just like you made them cry.”

And we all know the hadith, in which a companion came asking who is deserving the most of his companionship and each time Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, kept on saying, Your Mother, Your Mother, Your Mother and then Your Father.

Finally:

And with sadness, Once they have passed away, it is our duty to make dua for them. Keep good relations with their friends. And to do good deeds on their behalf. This will be counted as ‘Sadaqa Jariya’ or ‘Continual Charity’ on their behalf.

 

Before I end my talk, I would like you to pause for a moment and reflect on the sad but undeniable fact mentioned in the below quotation:

“Treat your parents with loving care,

you will only know their value when you see their empty chair.”

 

رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

O My Lord, have mercy upon them as they cherished me when I was little.

 

وَآخِرُ دَعْوَانا أَنِ الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ

Leave a Reply